His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
