Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
