We're like a lot better than the average bears
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
