What a fucking waste of an outfit
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
