i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So many bounce houses so little time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
