we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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