so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My liver just had a heart attack.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
