im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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