I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
