A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
