he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
