weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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