Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
