If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
