literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
