I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
