I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
