So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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