he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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