Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
