Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
