I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
