Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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