I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
