i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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