If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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