My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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