He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
