i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
