Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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