Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
