dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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