We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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