the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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