I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I love having hate sex.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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