Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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