you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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