On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
