take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
