i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
