Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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