dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
