it was like his penis was on wheels.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
