My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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