I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You made out with two different species that night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
