Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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