The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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