He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
