worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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