Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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